|
1 |
Putting your foot into a hole when stopping. |
|
2 |
Putting your foot down on something slippery when stopping. |
|
3 |
Locking the front wheel during over-enthusiastic braking. |
|
4 |
Missing the driveway and sliding on the grass. |
|
5 |
Not putting the kickstand down when getting off. |
|
6 |
Make a turn from stop in gravel or sand at high throttle. |
|
7 |
Not putting a board ('foot') under the kickstand on asphalt
on a hot day. |
|
8 |
Letting over-enthusiastic people sit on your bike who have
never been on a bike. |
|
9 |
Forgetting the bike's in gear when you jump on the
kickstarter. |
|
10 |
Revving the engine, releasing clutch, and putting feet on
pegs when the light turns green, but the bike's in neutral. |
|
11 |
Not putting your foot down when stopping at red light. |
|
12 |
Losing balance when putting it on the centerstand. |
|
13 |
Take an hour ride in 30 degree weather with no gloves, stop
at a stop sign and pop the clutch when you start because
you've lost feeling in your hands. |
|
14 |
Putting your foot down at a toll booth on the thick layer of
grease that builds up when cars stop. |
|
15 |
Using too much power when you pull out of a greasy toll
booth. |
|
16 |
Ignoring the sand that builds up in the spring at the side
of the road (in places where roads are sanded and salted in
winter.) |
|
17 |
Kicking your kickstand in a cool fashion and having it
bounce back up instead of staying down. |
|
18 |
Getting off your bike while it is running and forgetting
that is in gear. |
|
19 |
Trying to kick start your first bike over and over because
you didn't realize that it was really out of fuel, and
getting the goofy metal ring on the side of your boot caught
in the kickstarter, causing you (and the bike) to go over on
the right side. |
|
20 |
Starting your brand-new electric-start trail-bike, riding
around an ornamental shrub on full left lock, throwing it to
the right and accelerating to wheelie over the curb onto the
street and _then_ discovering that you hadn't unlocked the
steering-lock... |
|
21 |
On same bike, getting the dual-range lever caught inside
your jeans as you come to a stop... |
|
22 |
Having your boot/jeans catch the gear-lever and putting your
running bike into first gear whilst reaching for the
side-stand (which is why I now automatically pull in the
clutch whenever deploying or retracting the stand.) |
|
23 |
Having "green" racing linings which have much higher
coefficient of friction on the slight rust that forms on the
polished drum when you've not ridden for a few hours, and
lose the front-end holding the brakes on against the
throttle to wear off the rust. |
|
24 |
Having a three-cylinder two-stroke that's so smooth you
think you're in second when you're actually in first, so you
spin out when the undercarriage touches down in a tight
corner passing a car and you think, "just a bit more
throttle will help here..." |
|
25 |
Revving bike in impressive squidly fashion at red light,
thinking it's in neutral; dropping clutch and standing in
place while bike wheelies and backflips into intersection. |
|
26 |
Having your fat-ass brother (as a pillion) lean way over to
the side to look at something on the ground while at a stop
sign. |
|
27 |
Wife gets foot caught on saddlebag while getting on before
you. |
|
28 |
Rebuild carbs and treat bike like it still needs full gas
away from a stop. |
|
29 |
Bald tires and a smatter of rain. |
|
30 |
Look at the sand at the edge of the exit ramp rather than
through the turn. |
|
31 |
Neither you nor your dad watching while he's backing his car
up to the woodpile to unload wood. |
|
32 |
Not putting the pin that holds the center stand all the way
in and then trying to put the bike on the center stand. |
|
33 |
Trying to hold the bike upright before deploying the center
stand only to find your knees are too weak from riding. |
|
34 |
Park behind friend's mom's minivan figuring, "If anybody goes
anywhere, they'll surely see it. 'specially since there'll
be 5 of them getting into the van. |
|
35 |
After getting fuel at gas station and holding the bike level
with your legs in order to fill it completely, jumping off
forgetting that your legs were holding it upright not the
kickstand. |
|
36 |
Entering a DR ("decreasing radius") turn too fast. This is
especially dangerous when making a right turn where if you
attempt to straighten up and brake, you'll plow into
oncoming traffic. |
|
37 |
Trying to countersteer (or wheelie) your shaft driven bike?
[Obviously the person who posted this doesn't have a
clue.] |
|
38 |
Getting your boot/ shoelace caught on the gearshift. (I wear
laceless boots now.) |
|
39 |
Attempting to kick start a cantankerous '84 CR500, whilst
standing on a picnic table bench, and she *kicks* back! |
|
40 |
Getting pissed off for dropping it in the first place,
yanking it vigorously off the ground, only to have it drop
to the other side. |
|
41 |
Pulling out the swing arm stand, and forgetting to put the
sidestand down first. |
|
42 |
Backing down an inclined driveway, turning to either side
with a full tank of gas. |
|
43 |
Taking the bike off the centerstand and forgetting the
sidestand. |
|
44 |
Riding on wet grass with street tires (Almost as bad as
ice!!) |
|
45 |
Riding on wet asphalt with dirt tires (Almost as bad as
ice!!) |
|
46 |
*Thinking* the kick stand was down when it wasn't. |
|
47 |
Kick stand slowly burying itself in hot asphalt. |
|
48 |
Kick stand slowly burying itself in soft ground. |
|
49 |
Backing up perpendicular to a steeply sloped driveway and
attempting to put your foot down on the downhill side while
on a large bike with a high seat. (By the time your foot
reaches the ground the bike is so far off center balance you
won't be able to hold it up.) |
|
50 |
Backing your bike down a plank, by yourself, from the bed of
a pickup truck. Works great as long as you remember that
once you start moving, stopping for any correction is out of
the question. Get two people to stand on each side of you
and the bike. |
|
51 |
Losing your balance when coming to a stop because of fatigue
from a long trip. The wind and the buzz of the bike induces
an unexpected case of vertigo. Stop often and rest. |
|
52 |
Riding beyond your limits while trying to keep up with
someone who is probably riding beyond their own. Always a
temptation. The best riders/racers understand and use
discipline when riding. |
|
53 |
Not paying attention. Always strive to anticipate what could
possibly go wrong and be planning what you're going to do
when it happens, eventually it will - and you'll be ready,
instead of surprised when you're much more likely to do
something stupid and reactionary. |
|
54 |
Assuming that all wet roads are created equal. They are much
more slippery when it first starts to rain - until the oil
and dirt are washed away. |
|
55 |
Assuming that the condition of a blind corner is the same as
it was the last time you rode it. Instead you find sticks,
road kill, oil, rain wash, stones, pot holes, garbage, etc. |
|
56 |
Not understanding how to get set-up for a corner when
pushing the limits. In most cases the bike could have made
the corner but the rider decided it couldn't and while in a
panic attempted to correct the situation with the brake.
WRONG! MSF course will discuss this at length. |
|
57 |
Riding without all of the protective equipment because I
forgot to bring it and after all it was just this one time.
Turned out to be the wrong time! I forgot my MX boots and
fell on a steeply banked corner and the foot peg attempted
to drill into the back of my right calf. On crutches for 3
weeks with a deep bruise. |
|
58 |
Using a little too much power turning the first corner after
you've put on new tires (with that nice slippery release
compound on them). |
|
59 |
Being too short for the bike you're riding, and coming to a
stop sign. |
|
60 |
Your rider hops on before you are ready. |
|
61 |
Pushing your bike into the garage and letting it get leaned
just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it to the
ground. |
|
62 |
Pulling off both fork caps while the bike is on its
centerstand. |
|
64 |
Park pointing downhill, don't leave it in gear. |
|
65 |
Park with sidestand facing up hill, sidestand is too long. |
|
66 |
Allow friend to ride bike that has either no riding
experience, or only tiny dirt bike riding experience (they
will wheelie out of control, fly straight at the nearest
object, or drop it attempting to stop suddenly.) |
|
67 |
Pulling into Dairy Queen and slipping on a spilt chocolate
malt. |
|
68 |
Sitting on your bike on an inclined driveway talking to a
very pretty girl, forgetting where in the hell your mind is
and then noticing that it's already too close to the ground
to stop. |
|
69 |
Change rear-end oil on a shaft drive bike, spill 90w on
tire, don't clean it up and then make a really sharp turn
out of the driveway. *Splat* |
|
70 |
Parking your bike so that it stands upright with the
kickstand down and then having a slow leak in the rear tire
which causes the kickstand to push the bike over. |
|
71 |
Running into a bus after a 120mph+ high speed chase where
there is helicopter pursuit and you are being taped by 5
local news stations. |
|
72 |
Spending 3 hours washing and waxing your bike and then
stepping back to admire it with some buddies and then watch
it fall right off its side stand while it was warming up. |
|
73 |
Pushing it over. |
|
74 |
Covering it with a windsail (aka canvas cover) and letting
the wind push it over. |
|
75 |
Unbolting too many components from the back so that the bike
falls off the jack. |
|
76 |
Having an internally rusted CX500 center stand come apart
whilst putting the bike onto it. |
|
77 |
Discovering when you stop and try to put your foot down that
the kickstart lever is up your pant leg. |
|
78 |
Letting your wife drive the bike and having her stall it on
an inclined driveway while in a 45 degree angle to the
incline. |
|
79 |
Entering a banked freeway onramp with a stoplight at the
end, and realizing a little too late that the downside is
just a _little_ steeper than you thought. |
|
80 |
Whacking the throttle open on the highway (when you think
there's no cop around) then slowing to normal speed again
only to realize that a trooper has been trying to catch up
with you for two miles and he's pissed. So he decides to run
you off the road because he thinks you were trying to run
away from him, even though you explain to him that if you
were trying to run he wouldn't have caught you - then
getting out of any ticket because he
felt bad - even though he never said, "I'm sorry" . . . .but
I'm not bitter. |
|
81 |
While pushing your bike in an attempt to start it by
compression, jumping on side-saddle with excessive vigor. |
|
82 |
Successfully compression starting your bike while running
along side, only to find out that you'd held a BIT too much
throttle! |
|
83 |
Deploying the centre-stand without noticing that the ground
falls away on the other side. |
|
84 |
Taking the wife on a ride on your brand new, first bike in
20+ years and making a slow, tight, turn on gravel. |
|
85 |
Riding in stilettos and getting stuck on the footrest. |
|
86 |
Swinging your legs too enthusiastically over the bike with
tight trousers on and kicking it over. |
|
87 |
Dismounting while trying not to wet yourself (cold
weather..tuh!) |
|
88 |
Riding short distances side-saddle fashion. |
|
89 |
Pulling off with a blood alcohol level exceeding the state
limit. |
|
90 |
Reaching down to pick up your gloves / keys / glasses. |
|
91 |
Paying too much attention to the "tilt-o-meter" on your Valkarie. |
|
92 |
Dropping your dirtbike on the side of a steep hill covered
in pine humus, then while getting it righted go over the
down side because it's too far of an angle to get a foot
down. |
|
93 |
Trying to ride away on the side of a steep hill covered in
pine humus which is slipperier than sand. |
|
94 |
Bopping down the freshly-oiled farm lane to see the neighbor
kid with my brother on the back, cautiously toeing the rear
brake, feeling the rear wheel slide as we headed straight
for the barn, grabbing a panicky handful of front brake,
doing a slow highside despite dabbing mightily, sliding
right up to the barn door prone on the well-oiled bike with
my brother on top of the pile, and hearing the neighbor say
"Didn't that thing used to be orange?" |
|
95 |
Kill the bike while leaned over trying to make a slow, sharp
turn in a parking lot. |
|
96 |
Forgetting to remove the disc lock and taking off from the
curb with haste...Tends to break the front caliper, too. |
|
97 |
Falling asleep. |
|
98 |
Getting help from a neighbor in pushing your 750 up a steep
ramp into a moving truck. Though he might assure you that he
used to ride a motorcycle, it turns out it was a 125cc in
Bombay. He gets 2/3 of the way up the ramp, looks panicked
and his knees buckle. Crunch. |
|
99 |
Looking at the pretty curb to your left on a right-hand
bank. |
|
100 |
Trying to get a wasp or bee out of your jacket while sitting
on the bike. |
|
101 |
Trying to start out in a quick turn (leaning in anticipation
of giving it throttle) and stalling it out because the
engine hasn't warmed yet - it's a nice, slow drop... |
|
102 |
Forgetting to put in oil after an oil change. Starting 'er
up, and wondering why the low oil pressure dummy light
doesn't turn off. |
|
103 |
After a brake job, forgetting to pump the lever/pedal a few
times, and taking off, wondering why there's no brakes as
you're coming up on the intersection. |
|
104 |
Having a mechanical gate close on you as you're trying to
ride through. |
|
105 |
Hitting that patch of sand which has washed across the road
on a blind bend. |
|
106 |
Absentmindedly putting the bike on the kick stand and
walking away before you check to see if the driveway is
level. |
|
107 |
Applying your usual amount of throttle but with a passenger
behind you ... "cool ... look at that plane". |
|
108 |
Pushing your bike into a crowded garage, letting it get
leaned just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it
into your vintage MG. |
|
109 |
Popping a wheelie while showing off for a girl, almost
looping it, slamming on the rear brake to compensate, and
passing out from the bollocking several yards later. |
|
110 |
Assuming the puddle of liquid behind the convenience store
was water when it was actually used motor oil. |
|
111 |
Starting bike while habitually squeezing clutch lever,
standing to the left of the bike, remembering too late that
the bike is in gear. Realize too late that the choke gives
the bike enough power to drag you 30' across the parking lot
in first gear. |
|
112 |
On your third ride with your first ever bike. Stop at a red
light. When the light turns green, you have to start uphill
and turn right at the same time. Somehow that overwhelmed
me. |
|
113 |
Parking on a bit of an incline (slopes down right to left),
having your left foot slip a little when getting back on the
bike, and slowly loosing your balance. |
|
114 |
Let your buddy ride it. And if you are really stupid let him
ride it again. |
|
115 |
Turning onto a busy street and in the middle of the turn you
suddenly remember that this street has trolley tracks. |
|
116 |
Put Armor All on your tires to make them look nice and
pretty and then ride on the white safety lane line as you
take a HARD right turn at 35mph. |
|
117 |
Throw a party and get together with a random girl on your
bike in the garage while extremely drunk. |
|
118 |
Pull into parking and failed to ensure proper extension of
the sidestand then with near perfect execution of the
Laugh-in scene where the bike topples over onto your leg,
and you're going down, pinned beneath. |
|
119 |
Stop for gas, carefully shut off ignition and take key out
(to unlock tank), carefully remove helmet and set it over
mirror, carefully remove gloves and place on instruments,
open jacket, step off bike ... forgetting to put sidestand
down. |
|
120 |
With bike off, try to make walking U-turn in driveway. Bike
doesn't have necessary turning radius, front wheel leaves
pavement and goes into soft dirt. |
|
121 |
The setting: Bikes at inside end of driveway, on
centerstands, facing away from front of driveway. Backing
cage into driveway ... slowly ... at about the right point,
stop ... note that cover on bike #1 is moving slightly ...
notice bike #1 ever-so-slowly roll forward off its
centerstand, then sideways into bike #2. Bike #2 stands
there and takes it without falling ... but there's no way to
get it to lift #1. |
|
122 |
Tweaking the front brake at a light as you JUST come to a
stop with the forks turned to either side at ALL on a
top-heavy bike. |
|
123 |
Jump an old dirt bike over your parents' fence (use a rramp
to get enough height). Realize on the way down that you
*don't* know how to land. (I believe this was caused by
"Adolescent Invincibility Syndrome".) |
|
124 |
Test-ride an Electra Glide Sport (OK, these days it would
have to be a Road King) around the old, cracked pavement in
Brisbane near the Cow Palace. |
|
125 |
Have a BMW with the sidestand linked to the clutch lever, so
that pulling in the clutch retracts the stand. |
|
126 |
Put the bike back together after waiting months since the
last crash for a part to arrive, and don't install fuel
filters. Gas tank rust clogs carburetor float needles,
overflow tubes lube rear tire, brake to avoid manhole cover
in curve, the waited-for part is broken. |
|
127 |
Park next to some %$#@ on a Triumph who leaves his disc lock
on, and return to find your XV1100 with a few dents and a
little note saying 'Sorry' in the brake lever. |
|
128 |
While riding home the day after getting your shiny new bike
turn onto a dirt road and discover that they are in the
process of combing the road and your front tire is now
sliding through four inches of loose, wet sand (Did I mention
it was raining). While picking up your bike be sure to grind
plenty of sand into the tank. |
